Jocks

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" 

Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,

"NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!



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A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party: 

Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,
& she is my kidney.



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"FRIENDS STAND BEHIND U DURING UR BAD TIMES"

Do u want a documentary proof ??

Ok,In future check out ur marriage album..U'll find al frns behind u !!!



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Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect

At her LIPS is Love
CHEEKis Heroism
NECK is Lust

BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY.



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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass. 

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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. 
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. 
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. 

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On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring. Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile. 


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Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one 
before you die? Patient : Yes. A good doctor. 

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2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car. 
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. 
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more. 

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Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why 
are you removing a wheel from your auto. 
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler. 

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Sardar : What is the name of your car ? 
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T". 
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai. 

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Boss : Where were you born ? 
sardar : Punjab . 
Boss : which part ? 
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab. 


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How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ? 
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

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A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

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Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

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Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!

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Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

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Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as branch manager."

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Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. 
Servant: It"s already raining. 
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

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Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr
after deducting tax. 
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

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Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

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A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. 
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children? 
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

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Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..

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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

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Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

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A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. 
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

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Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

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