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विजेट आपके ब्लॉग पर

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Showing posts with label Funny SMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny SMS. Show all posts

Funny SMS-7


FACT OF LOVE-
Luv starts 4m Eyes,
Grows vd Gifts,
Ends vd Tears!

BUT 2DAY'S LUV-
Starts 4m Mobiles,
Grows vd Balance,
Ends vd Number Busy!!





Santa was riding a cycle n hit a girl!
Girl shouted- 'Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha???'
Santa replied- 'Poori cycle to maar di! Ab ghanti alag se maaroon kya!!'





Bas chali, Jhatka laga
1 ladka 1 ladki par ja gira.
Ladki boli, Badtamez! Kya kar rahe ho??
Ladka bola, Vidyapeeth University se BAMS!!




A Prince had a Curse!
He'd speak only a Word in an Year!
He spoke nothing for 3yrs n waited to say, "I LUV U" to a Beautiful Princess who replied- "PARDON!!"




Thandi hai coffee garam karlo,
Is pathar dil ko thoda naram karlo.
Tumhare hote huye mera inbox khaali hai..
Thodi si to yaar sharam karlo!!





Ladka- If I kiss u & run, wat vl u think??
Ladki- I'll think, Ek bewakoof, Jo poora paper attempt kar sakta tha, sirf Roll no. likh k bhaag gaya!! ;-)




Santa 1st time plane mein baitha!
Plane runway pe chal raha tha..
Tabhi Santa ne Pilot ko thappad mara aur bola- "Mujhe der ho rahi hai aur tu by-road ja raha hai.." ;-)




Abe itni raat ko apun tere ko koi kahani sunane k liye msg to karega nahi..
Common sense ki baat hai, Tere ko Good Night bolne ka hai!
Chal ludhak le!! ;-)




EFFECT OF RECESSION...
Sign on d door of a Toilet!
.
.
.
.
.
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CONSERVE TOILET PAPER!
USE BOTH SIDES!!! :-D





Samandar k kinaare baithe hain,
Kabhi to leher aayegi.
Kismat badle na badle,
.
.
.
.
Atleast, CHAPPAL TO DHUL JAYEGI... :-D




Boy- Nice dress!
Girl- Thanx!
Boy- Lipstick bhi acchhi hai..
Girl- Thanx!
Boy- Make up bhi achha hai!
Girl- Thanx bhaiyya!
Boy- Phirbhi sundar nahi lag rahi... ;-)





Ravan- Cigarette hai kya?
Hanuman ji- Nahi hai!
Ram ji- Hai to tere paas ek packet!
Hanuman ji- Shhhh! Prabhu, Iske 10 sir hain! Poora packet khatam kar dega!





Agar duniya me kuch karke dikhana hai to,
Sun meri baat!
Hathi k upar ulta khada hokar photo khincha..
Aur photo ko ulta kar k duniya ko dikha!




Most Innocent Dhamki- As d thief was leaving d house d kid woke up & said to d thief- "Mera school bag bhi lekar jao warna main mummy ko utha doonga!"





Neend me sapno se nahi khelna
Aankho me ashko se nahi khelna
Mujhe bus itna kehna hai ae dost
Pyar me kabhi apno se nahi khelna




Aap Aap Ho
Ham Ham Hain
Pyar Nahi Karte
Fir Bhi Ankhein Nam Hain
Supply Kam Hone Se
Golgappo Me Aalu Kam Hain
Is Se Bhi Bakwas Msg Bhejo
Agar Aap Me Dum Hai





Imagine the world without girls

Galiyan sunsan

Collage viran

Duniya pareshan

Tanha insan

Na jaanu, na jaan

Har taraf bas Karan's DOSTANA & JAI HANUMAN.





Ek Ameer Ladki ko School me Garib Parivar pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha Gya. Essay me usne Likha:
Ek Garib Parivar tha,
Pita Garib,
Maa Garib,
Bachche Garib.
Parivar me 4 Naukr the, wo bhi Gareeb..!
Car bhi Tooti hui SAFARI thi..!Unka Garib Driver Bachon ko Tooti Car me School Chhod K Aata tha..!
Bachon K paas Purane N95 Mobile the..!
Bache Hafte me 4 bar hi Chicken Khate the..!
Ghar me 4 hi 2nd Hand A.C. the..!
Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se Aish Kar raha tha..




Full form of GIRL.
G-Goli dene me sabse age.
I-Innocent sirf shakl se.
R-Rone ki automatic machine.
L-Ladai me sabki maa.
Phir bi duniya inki diwani.




Beauty is not how you look
it is not how handsome u r
it is not ur figure too
Beauty is inner self
so change ur underwear daily




Kyo Marte Ho Bewafa Sanam ke liye
Do Gaj Zamin hi Milegi Dafan ke liye
Marna hi hai to Maro DESH-WATAN ke liye
Har Hasina Duptta Faad Degi kaphan ke liye




Pls arange a"Wife"4 me !
Shocked? Daro mat, shaadi nahi karunga,
' Wife' means, wonderful instrument for enjoyment, Ab to thik hai na




Kyu her Baar mausam k tarah badal jate ho..
Har Din hamara Dil dukhate ho..
Ye baat sunkar hamari ruh kaap gayi..
Ki tum ab bartan dhonewale SABUN se nahate ho




Namaskar
Ye MALE/FEMALE
Jach sewa hai, Agar aap purush hai to 5 msg kare, Mahila 3 msg kare,En me se kuchh nhi hain to sms na kare, Hum aapka dard samjh jayege.





Kya ap bore ho rahe ho?
Kuch karne ka mann ho rha hai? Zip kholo Hath andar dalo or.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bag se book nikal k padho.
To tumne kya socha..






HUM FIZAON KE RUKNE KA INTEZAAR NAHI KARTE
HUM HAWAON KE THAMNE KA INTEZAAR NAHI KARTE
JAB DIL KARTA HAI TO KAR LETE HAI SMS
HUM KANJUSON KE SMS KA INTEZAAR NAHI KARTE





How chinese gave their child name?
Ans:- They through a spoon on a bowl and what sounds came from the bowl tey kept it as their child name.



AAJKAL SMS KA BAHUT CHLAN HO GAYA
LADKE KE MOBILE MEIN ME GAJAB HO GAYA
USKI GIRLFRIEND KA NAAM LAVLEE THA
PAR MOBILE ME AATE HI LALAN HO GAYA




Quyamat ke din farishte ne sabse kaha:-

apne apne gunah paper pe likho
sab ne apne apne gunah likhe
achanak aapki awaj aayi

Sir,
SUPPLIMENT PLZ




santa banta se- yaar i'm going ka kya matlab hota hai batao?
banta - mai ja raha hu...............!
santa - are jate jate matlab to batake jao...!





Kahin andhera to kahin shaam hogi
Meri har khushi tere naam hogi
Kuchh maang ke to dekh humse
Bijli Paani ke bill aur
Karz mein dubi property tere naam hogi




Ek pyare se sms ki ummeed laga rakhi hai..
Hamne nazre screen par tika rakhi hai..
Par ummeed kaise ho poori??
Busy logon se dosti jo bana rakhi hai




Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Abey karta hi rahega to dhoyega kab?




Baah fadke rok lende
je chalda koi zor hunda
assi tere piche kyon rulde
je tere jeha koi hor hunda





Na Caroodo Me
Na Laakho Me
Na Hazaaro Me
Na Chaand Me
Na Sitaaro Me
Humne Aapko Dekha Hai...
CHAPPAL Churate Hue Gurudwaro Me.





Jahan dosti vahan pyar,
Jahan pyar vahan ishq,
Jahan ishq, vahan mohabbat,
Jahan mohabbat vahan judai,
Jahan judai vahan dard,
Jahan dard vahan MOOV laga lena.




Kitne Haseen Ho Tum,
Khud Ko Duniya Ki Nazar Se bachaaya karo,
Aankhon mein Kaajal lagaana hi kaafi nahin,
Plz Galli mein Nimbu-Mirch latkaaya karo.





1 ladki thi deewani si,
doston pe woh marti thi!
Chori Chori Chupke Chupke
TEXT likha karti thi,
kuch kehna tha shayad usko
lekin moblie bill se Darti thi.




Request hai tumse refuse mat karna,
Friendship ke ye dosti ko fuse mat karna,
Hum dost hai tumahre confuse mat karna,
Meri jagah kisi aur ko use mat karna.





Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai










Funny SMS-6


TOUGH QUESTION-
Difference betwn Husband & Gadha?
Husband- Gadha ban sakta hai!
Gadha- Itna bhi gadha nahi k Husband bane ;-)



Mungerilal ko 20 saal baad bachha hua!
Wo udaas ho gaya!
Naurangilal- Yaar udaas kyun hai?
Mungerilal- Yaar! 20 saal baad bachha hua wo bhi itna sa??




3 stupid stages of life-
TEEN- Hav energy & time but no money!
YOUNG- Have money & energy but no time!
OLD- Hav time & money but no energy!! ;-)




Sardaar standing below a tubelight with an open mouth..
WHY??
Coz his doctor advised him, "Pet me dard hai to aaj light hi khana.." ;-)




To hear wat is unspoken,
To see wat is unseen,
To feel without touch is called
SCHIZOPHRENIA....A MENTAL DISORDER!
& Ppl think its love!! Oh God!!! ;)





MORAL LINES BY A MILLIONAIRE- Money cant buy happiness!
But somehow, its comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle! ;)




Ye ek raaz ki baat hai..
Kisi ko batana mat!
Nahi bataoge na!

Wada??

To suno!

Gangadhar hi Shktimaan tha!!! ;-)





ALLAHHUMAINNIA AOOTHUBIKA MINALJUNOONIWALJUTHAAMI WALBARASI WASAYYI ILASQAAM- This is dua to protect urself against Swine flu




Wen U touch & feel, its Desire!
Wen u dont touch & still feel, its Love!
Wen u touch & dont feel, its
.
.
.
.
PARALYSIS!!!





Aaj ki ladkiyon ki dress-
Yahan se less
Wahan se less
Kabhi sleeveless
Kabhi backless!
Aur koi ladka ghoor k dekhe to- "Kutta kameena sala CHARACTERLESS...." ;-)




Definition of NURSE-
A beautiful Dashing Girl holding ur hand, looking in ur eyes & still wants ur Pulse to be Normal!!! ;-)



The most unfulfilled desire of all Science Students-
A BOMB SHOULD HAVE FALLEN INSTEAD OF AN APPLE ON NEWTON!!!




In park, a boy & girl were sitting!
2 dogs kissed each other..
Boy- Jaanu agar tum bura na mano, to main bhi..
Girl- Ok! Par sambhalkar! Kutta kaat lega.. ;-)




Sardar 1- Train me yaar raatbhar neend nahi aayi.. Upar ki seat mili thi!
Sardar 2- To exchange karna tha!
Sardar 1- Kisse karta? Neeche ki seat pe koi nahi tha.. ;-)



KBC me Amitabh- Wat's ur father's name??
Santa- [kuch bola nahi]
Amitabh- Jawaab dijiye!
Santa- Sir option to dijiye!! ;-)




British- Do u know swimming??
Indian- No!
British- Dog is better than u! It swims!
Indian- Do u know swimming??
British- Yes!
Indian- Then wat is d differens betwn U & Dog? ;-)





1970 ki mom to her son- Beta apne religion ki ladki se hi shaadi karna!
1980 ki mom- Apni caste ki ladki se
1990- Apne level ki ladki se
2000- Apne desh ki ladki se
2010- Koi bhi! Par ladki se hi karna!!! ;-)





B4 u judge a person, Walk a mile in his shoes!
After that,
.
.
.
.
who cares??
He's a mile away
&
the shoes r urs!!
So run!!! ;-)





Ek sardar was running with his cycle.
Person- Y ru running vid cycle? U can sit & ride d cycle!
Sardar- Arrey bahut jaldi mein hoon! Baithne tak ki bhi fursat nahi hai.. ;-)





Band clinic k aage lambi line lagi thi..
Ek aadmi baar baar line me ghusta tha aur 3-4 log use pakad k peechhe kar dete the!
Aadmi- "Lage raho saalon! Main bhi clinic nahi kholoonga.."





Chuhe ne hathini se kaha- "I love u!"
Hathini boli- "Tujhe darr nahi lagta??"
Chuhe ne Ganesh ji ka photo dikhate hue kaha- "Tujhme rab dikhta hai, Yaara main kya karun!!!" ;-)





Sweet quote from an 8yr old kid- "Luv is wen I cant pay attention in class coz i'm too busy writing her 1st name vd my last name"... ;-)




Wat's Newton's 4th Law??
.
.
.
.
Gravity is not responsible wen ppl fall in love.. ;-)





Sweetest proposal by a KG class boy to a Senior KG girl..
Boy- Kya tu mujhse shaadi kalegi??
Gal- Nai!!
Boy- Kalle na plz!!
Gal- Nai kaloongi!!
Boy- Kalle na didi plz!! ;-)





Wat is 143??
I LOVE YOU???
NO!!
I MISS YOU???
NO!!
I WISH YOU??
NO!!
143 means One Hundred Forty Three!!
Parents ne kitnl ummeed se padhaya tha!
Laga di na waattt...






Marwadi donates blood to Arab.
Arab gifts him Ferrari!
Marwadi donates again.
He gets only 1Rs..
Marwadi- Why??
Arab- Ab meri ragon me tera khoon daudta hai!! ;-)






Ek sharaabi roz shiv mandir mein matha tekta tha!
Ek din pujari ne Shiv ji ki jagah Ganesh ki murti rakhi..
Sharaabi aaya, bola "Chhotu! Papa se kehna uncle aaye the" ;-)




Wife- Plz bike tez mat chalao! Mujhe darr lag raha hai..
Santa- Agar tujhe bhi darr lag raha hai to meri tarah aankhein band kar le.. ;-)




Jabse Tumhe dekha he

Mera Raat ko

Din ko

Subha ko

Sham ko

Khate waqt

Peete waqt

Sote waqt

Jagte waqt

Hans Hans k Bura HaaL he.





Dunia Me 7 Cheezain Asan Hai Or Mushkil Bhi.

1. Dosti Karna Aasan
.....Nibhana Mushkil.

2. Pyar Karna Aasan
.....Pana Mushkil.

3. Bharoosa Torna Aasan
.....Karna Mushkil.

4. Yaad Karna Aasan
.....Bhulna Mushkil.

5. Jhoot Kehna Aasan
.....Sach Sunna Mushkil.

6. Rulana Aasan
.....Hasana Mushkil.

7. Ap ko SCRAP Bhejna Aasan
.....Reply Ana Mushkil...........

Itz True.....See You r not replying..............Right na




If u see the moon,u can c the beauty of god.
If u c the Sun,u can see the power of god.
If u see the mirror,u can see the comedy of god




I LIKE U..
SERIOUSLY I LIKE U..
I DONNO HOW IT HAPPENED TO ME BIT I LIKE U..
NOT ONLY U,
I LIKE V, W, X, Y, Z & ALL OTHER LETTERS TOO.. ;-)




99 saal ka Buddha mar k swarg pahuncha!
Apsaraon ka Dance dekh kar bahut pachhtaya!
Bola- Baba Raamdev k chakkar me na padta to kabka yahan aa gaya hota!!




Newspaper me news lagi ki
.
.
50% Sardars r Donkeys!
.
.
D Sardars Protested!!
.
.
Next day News lagi ki
.
.
50% Sardars r not Donkeys!!
.
.
& Sardars Celebrated!!





Santa 1st time plane mein baitha!
Plane runway pe chal raha tha..
Tabhi Santa ne Pilot ko thappad mara aur bola- "Mujhe der ho rahi hai aur tu by-road ja raha hai.." ;-)





Boy n Girl in restaurant-
Boy- Main last time pooch raha hoon, DO U LUV ME??
Girl- Nahin!
Boy- Sochlo!!
Girl-Keh diya na nahin!!
Boy- Waiter! Bill alag alag laana!!





Socho agar Doctors films banate to Title kya hota??
1] Kabhi khaansi Kabhi Dum
2] Kaho na bukhaar hai
3] T B No. 1
4]Kal patient ho na ho
5] Hum blood de chuke sanam! ;-)





Next year IPL3 has been shifted to PAK!
Facilities offered by PAK govt-
Security by Al-Qaida n Talibaan,
Cheer girls dancing in Burkhas,
Missiles aftr every Four,
Bomd blast aftr every Sixer,
&
AK47 firing aftr every Wicket!!




Sardar writing in his Diary-
.
.
.
My sister had a baby this morning!
.
.
.
I haven't heard if its a Boy or Girl..
.
.
.
So I dont know whether I'm MAMA or MAMI..





Once thr was a Mirror which killed anyone who lied!
FRENCH- I think, I don't Smoke!! [Killed]
AMERICAN- I think, I love Iraq!! [Killed]
SARDAR- I think, [Killed]




Funny SMS-5


Never kiss a Lawyer!
She'll say, I OBJECT!
Never kiss a Nurse!
She'll say, NEXT!
Always kiss a Teacher!
She'll say, DO IT 5 TIMES! & KEEP REVISING!! ;-)




Shaadi k doosre din beti apni maa se- Aaj meri unse bahut ladai ho gayi!
Maa- Beti shaadi me jhagde to hote rehte hain!
Beti- Wo sab to theek hai! Par ab LAASH ka kya karoon???




3 ways to catch a tiger-
1] NEWTON'S METHOD- Allow d tiger to catch u & catch d tiger!
2] EINSTEIN'S METHOD- Chase d tiger until it gets tired & then catch it!
3] INDIAN POLICE METHOD- Catch a cat & beat it until it accepts it is a tiger!




Pakistani poem-
Taliban Taliban!
Yes papa!
Exploding bombs?
No papa!
Telling lie?
No papa!
Open ur jacket!
THAA THAA THAA!!! ;-)





Baby sardar praying-
Bhagwaan ji! Plz Punjab nu america di capital bana do!!!
Plz plz plz!
Bhagwaan ji- Kyun yaara?
Baby- Kyuki main exam vich likh aaya si!!! ;-)




Whr can u see MANGOES??
?
?
On Mango Tree?
.
.
No!
.
.
At Fruit shop?
.
.
Wrong again!
.
.
Fir kahan?
.
.
Jaha jaha Woman Goes,
Peeche peeche
MAN-GOES!! ;-)





Thirsty crow story in Hinglish-
Once upon a Waqt,
Thr was a Kauwa!
He was very Pyasa!
Here there Bhatka,
He saw a Matka!
Some patthar Patka,
Water Gatka & Satka!! ;-)





Santa Was Suffering From Loose Motion
Doctor Asked - What Is Your Problem?
He Said- Free OutGoing With Variety Of Ring Tones'!




Banta : Agar aapko
Garmi lage to aap kya
karte ho?
Santa : Cooler k samne baith jata hu.
Banta : fir bhi Garmi lage to?
Santa : Toh Cooler on kar leta hu.





This msg has
NO FAT
NO CHOLESTEROL
NO ADDITIVES
It has
Natural Flavours of
LOVE
CARE
JOY
It contains
PRAYERS 4 U
IT is 100% Pure
Just like our FRIENDSHIP






Ek haathi romantic mood me ek cheeti ko chhedta hai..
Cheeti gusse me hathni k paas jakar kehti hai,
"Apne aawara pati ko samjha lo! Warna Mard hamare ghar me bhi hain.." ;-)




A sardar introduces his family @ a function..
Hi! I'm sardar!
This is my sardarni!
He is my Kid!
She is my Kidney!!! ;-)




Baby mosquito came back after its 1st flight..
His dad asked him, how do u feel?
He replied, "It was wonderful! Everyone was clapping for me!!"
Thats Attitude!! ;-)





Arz hai janaab-
Jise koyal samjha wo kauwa nikla,
Dosti k naam par hauwa nikla,
Jo roka karte the hamein sharaab peene se,
Aaj unhi ki jeb se pauwa nikla.. ;-)




Sardar- Express train kitne baje ki hai?
TC- 1 baje!
Sardar- Local train?
TC- 9 baje!
Sardar- Maal gadi?
TC- Jaana kahan hai?
Sardar- Patri cross karni hai!! ;-)




Question- Voting k liye 18 saal aur Shaadi k liye 21 saal poore hone chahiye! Aisa kyun hai???
Answer- Kyunki sarkar sambhalna aasan hota hai par biwi sambhaalna utna hi mushkil! ;-)





Ek ladka bus stop pe mobile le kar khada tha..
Wo kisi ko bhi call/ sms nahi kar tha fir bhi uska balance jaa raha tha!!
Batao kaise??
[ANS- Wo ek taang pe khada tha!!] ;-)




Life's like a movie!
If u r sad- DRAMA,
If u r afraid- SUSPENSE,
If u r angry- ACTION,
If u look in mirror- COMEDY!
.
.
Now u r smiling!
That's- HORROR!! ;-)




Sardaar ne maachis ki tilli jalai..
Nahi jali!
Dusri jalai,
Nahi jali!
Teesri jalai,
Jal gayi..
Sardar ne jaldi se bujha di aur bola, "Ye kaam ki hai! Rakh leta hoon!!!" ;-)





Important baat-
Ek din aapki life me ek ladka aayega jo apko bahut jyada pyaar karega..
Apko pyaar se chhuega..
Dher saare kiss karega aur kahega..
.
.
.
I LOVE U MOM!! ;-)





An elephant fell in love with an ant..
But ant's parents were against marriage!
Guess why??
.
.
.
They gave a solid reason!
Ladke ke daant baahar hain!! ;-)





1 hand on pen,
Other on phone..
1 ear on lecture,
Other on gossip..
1 eye on board,
Other on crush..
Kaun gadha kehta hai, Student life is easy!!!





Aapko tohfe me laptop dena chaha..
.
.
.
Lekin
.
.
.
Is tarah button daba daba k aap kharaab kar doge!

Islaye cancel kar diya!! ;-)






Agar koi Galti,
Gustaakhi,
Mistake,
etc
ho gayi ho..
toh
plz...
.
.
.
.
.
Maafi maang lo! Main aaj bahut achhe mood me hoon :-)






If sum1 throws a stone at u, just smile & throw back a flower back at them....
But make sure u throw a flower with pot!!! ;-)





A boy on a date in BMW car..
BOY- Maine tumse ek baat chhupai hai!
GIRL- Kya?
BOY- I'm already married!
GIRL- Tumne to dara hi diya tha! Main samjhi BMW tumhari nahi hai..





Why do we all marry??
Coz Romance is not the only Element of life!
One should also experience Horror, Suspense, Irony, Stupidity & Tragedy in life..





Vidaai k samay Dulhe ka mobile baja..
Bride slappe him!
.
.
Why??
.
.
Uski ringtone thi, 'Dil me chhupakar pyaar ka armaan hum chale,
Hum aaj apni maut ka saaman le chale!!' ;-)





If Bill Gates stops his business & start spending his money by Rs 1 crore/ day, He can spend it for about 725yrs..
But he still prefers earning his day ;-)




3 sardars going on a motorcycle..
A policeman shows his hand to stop!
Sardar shouted- "Idiot! Already 3 r sitting! tu kya sir pe baithega???"





Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi.. ;-)





Mukesh & Anil have been advised to take large doses of Hajmola!!
Why???
?
?
?
Bcoz Hajmola guarantees to solve al ur GAS problems!! ;-)





A single spelling mistake that caused a Divorce!!
'A man went to Goa & sent a msg back to his wife- Having amazing & wonderful time!! Wish u were her....!!!!'




Sumit was filling up a job application.
He came to d column 'SALARY EXPECTED'..
After much thought he wrote- 'YES'!!! ;-)




SAM- I woke up this morning & felt like going out & getting a job!
PAM- Did u?
SAM- No.. I stayed in bed until d feeling passed... ;-)



NICKY- Wat's FORD?
LUCKY- Gaadi!
NICKY- Wat's OXFORD?
LUCKY- So simple! BAEL-GAADI!! ;-)





After eating fish Santa Singh never drinks water!
WHY??
Coz..
He feared that fish will start swimming in his stomach!! ;-)




If ever u start missing
ur coll days,
ur class,
ur frd circle,
ur crush or
anything abt ur coll life then
.
.
.
.
.
Just open ur marksheet!
.
.
.
.
SAARA NASHA UTAR JAYEGA!! ;-)





3 thing that should not be asked-
1] A man's WAGE..
2] A woman's AGE..
3] A student's PERCENTAGE...
.
.
IT HURTS!!!
.
.
After all, hamari bhi feelings hain :-(




A sardarji doctor falls in love with a nurse.
He writes a letter to d nurse - "Love u Sister!!"





Funny SMS-4


Banta's advice- Dont carry umbrella during rains!!
Keep WHISPER on ur head!
Ye ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsaas na hone de!! ;-)




U R MY BEST, SMART, CUTE, LOVABLE, SWEET, INTELLIGENT FRIEND!!
NOTE- Is msg k sabhi shabd kaalpnik hain!
Inka vaastwikta se koi sambandh nahi!!
Ha ha ha!! ;-)




Wat vl 2 Gay men tell each other wen they see a Beautiful & Pretty girl????
.
.
.
YAAR, LADKI AISI HAI TO ISKA BHAI KAISA HOGA??? ;-)





UP me bachhon k surname-
Bachha 1 baap se ho to- EKNATH
2 se- DUBE
3 se- TIVARI
4 se- CHATURVEDI
5 se- PANDE
Sabse ho to- MISHRA JI
aur
Baap ka pata na ho to - GUPTA ji!!! ;-)




KID- Mom, I want a Baby brother!
MOM- Son, ur dad is overseas! Wen he comes back, we'll talk over it!
KID- Why dont u just surprise him???.... ;-)





MAKKHAN- Tumhari gaadi kaisi condition me hai??
DHAKKAN- Horn k alawa sab cheez aawaz karti hain!! :-|




Reporter ne ek zakhmi se poocha- "Jab bomb gira kya wo phata??"
Zakhmi (gusse me)- "Nahi! Wo reng kar mere paas aaya aur pyaar se bola- DHAPPAAAA!!!!" ;-P




Thr's always a DRIVE SLOW board near Boy's school, but not near Girls' college!
.
.
WHY??
.
.
Coz vehicles automatically go slow thr!! ;-)





Ek parinde ko machhli se pyaar ho gaya!
Par wo dono milein to kaise??
Machhli paani chhod nahi sakti aur parinda paani me ja nahi sakta!
If u know d answer, reply!! ;-)

(ANSWER- Zaruri nahi k pyaar karne wale ka pyaar tabhi poora ho jab wo milein! Ek doosre ko khush dekh kar bhi wo jee sakte hain!!! TOO HYPOTHETICAL :-l)




How does a smart & intelligent person take bath during winter??
Ans- He stands in front of mirror, throws water on d mirror & says- "CHAK DE FATTE!! Aaj phir naha liya!!!" ;-)




NON SMOKERS- I hate cigarette! So I dont touch it!
SMOKER- I too hate cigarette! So I BURN IT!!
ATTITUDE MATTERS!! ;-)



Dear subscriber,
We're sorry to inform u that ur Roaming facility has expired today!
Kindly return to
.
.
ZOO!!
.
.
IMMEDIATELY!!! ;-)





Yesterday in my dreams, all my books were singing a song!
Guess which one??
.
.
Zara zara touch me touch me touch me!
Zara zara hold me hold me hold me!!! ;-)





A SAYING- 'Sorrow is ur constant companion!
Happiness comes & goes!'
Sardar agrees- 'My wife is always vd me! Her sister comes & goes!!' ;-)





WHY IS INDUSTRIAL GROWTH SO SLOW IN TAMIL NADU & KERELA??
COZ
.
.
86% WORK-TIME IS SPENT ON
.
.
LIFTING
.
.
FOLDING
.
.
&
.
.
HOLDING D LUNGI!!! ;-)






DO BAAR LIPS PE
.
.
DO BAAR GAAL PE
.
.
EK BAAR MAATHE PE
.
.
COLD CREAM ZAROOR LAGANA!!
SARDI AA GAYI HAI NA!! ;-)
HAPPY WINTER SEASON!!





JO PASAND AAYI WO MILI NAHI,
JO MILI WO JAMI NAHI,
JO JAMI USKE SAATH MAZA NAHI AAYA,
JIASKE SAATH MAZA AAYA WO HAEMSHA K LIYE RAHI NAHI!!!
.
.
AJEEB HAI YE NAUKRI!!!! ;-)






Dog & mosquito were in love!
1 day Mosquito gave love-bite to dog!
Dog got emotional & bite Mosquito!
Next day,
Mosquito died of Rabies &
Dog died of Malaria!!
Pyaar k side- effects!!





Cutest msg-
A cute newborn baby asks Doctor- "Do u hav sms pack?"
Dr- Ya! But why?
Baby- Send a sms to God dat I've reached safely & send my girlfriend soon!! ;-)





1980 girl- Pehla pehla pyaar hai, Jiya bekaraar hai..
Aaja mere saajna tera intzaar hai!
2008 girl- 3ra 4tha pyaar hai, Jiya bekaraar hai..
Aaja mere saajna nahi to 5va tayyar hai.. ;-)




Kash Vaado ka matlab wo samajte
Kash khomoshi ka matlab wo samajte
nazar kehti hai hazaar baatein
kash meri ek nazar ka matlab wo samajte




Yashomati maiyya se bole Nandlala-
"Maa, Tata Sky laga dala to life Jhingalala!!!"
.
.
Ab hanso pet pakad pakad ke!!




Where was Love born?
Guess!
Simple!
In CHINA!
.
.
Coz
It has
NO WARRANTY
& NO GUARANTEE!
Chale to chand tak!
Nahi to shaam tak!! ;-)




CUTEST PROPOSAL EVER-
A boy in 1st std- "Do u hug ur teddy bear while sleeping at night??"
Girl- Yes!
Boy- Can I replace it for d rest of ur life??? ;-)




Life of a Student-
Wallet hai Paise nahi..
Lectures hain Attendance nahi..
Mobile hai Balance nahi..
Frnds hain Girlfrnd nahi..
Exams hain Tension nahi..
Padhna hai, Mood nahi.. ;-)





Doctor girl 1- Dil k operation ko Bypass kyun kehte hain??
Doctor girl 2- Kyuki agar operation theek ho gaya to PASS! Warna hamesha k liye BYE BYE!!!




15 to 20 saal ki larki football ki tarha hai aik k pechay dus log.

21 to 30 saal ki larki cricket ball hai aik k pas ati hai baqi reh jatay hain.

31 to 40 saal ki larki to nahi hoti,
Woh aurat hoti hai jo table tennis ki ball ki tarha hai aik kehta hai tu rakh dusra kehta hai tu rakh !





Wife Pati ko maar rahi thi-
Padosi- Kyu maar rahi ho?
Patni- Inko phone kiya to ek ladki boli aap jisse sampark karna chahte ho wo abhi vyast hai..




Hijde shaadi me badhai dene gaye!
Hijda 1- Hay hay! Main to 1100 loongi!
Hijda 2- Main 2100 loongi!
Santa- Arre 2310 lo! Usme FM bhi hai!!! ;-)




Professor- Wen wud b India's Biggest Confusion Day?
Student- Sir! Wen Raksha Bandhan vl come on 14th Feb!!




A sardar went to a temple on Hanuman Jayanti!
Pujari gave him aarti..
Guess wat sardar did??
Sardar blew off d Diya & said- HAPPY B'DAY HANUMAN JI..




BOY- My father's name is Laughing!
Mother's name is Smiling!
TEACHER- U must be Kidding!!
BOY- No, thats my brother!
I'm Joking!! ;-)




Santa was walking thru d forest..
He saw a snake hanging on d tree!
Santa- Sirf latakne se kuch nahi hoga! Mummy ko bolo Complan pilaayein!! ;-)





Santa ne ek raah chalti ajnabi ladki se kaha- Aapne pehchana mujhko?
Ladki- Nahi..
Santa- Main wahi hoon jise aapne parson bhi nahi pehchaana tha!! ;-)




MY THOUGHTS FOR LIFETIME-
Achha dost kitni bhi baar rooth jaye, usse mana lena chahiye!
Kyuki wo KAMEENA aapke saare raaz janta hai!!!!!




HA
HA
HA HA
HA HA HA
.
.
HE HE
HE HE HE
.
.
HOOO
.
.
Kuch nahi yaar!
Achanak tera chehra yaad aa gaya tha!!
Kabhi kabhi bhagwaan bhi accha mazaak kar lete hain ;-)





Nurse- Mubarak ho! Aapke ghar beta hua hai!
Santa- Wah! Kya technology hai! Biwi meri hospital mein hai aur bachha ghar paida hua hai???? ;-)



BOYS' PSYCHOLOGY-
Fraud vd innocent girl,
Frdshp vd charming girl,
Contacts vd smart girl,
Flirt vd freaky girl,
Luv vd cute girl &
Marriage 'Jaisi mummy ki marzi!!!'




A tragic Love-story:
A Pig fell in love with a Hen..
1 day they kissed each other!
.
.
.
Next day,
the Pig died of Bird Flu!
& the Hen died of Swine Flu!! :-(





Jo mujhe bhool jaye uska mobile toot jaye..
Charger jal jaye..
Local call pe STD ka bill aaye..
Har call pe roaming lag jaye!!!
AAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEN!!!!!



Funny SMS-3


GEETA SAAR-
Mobile nirjeev hai!
Sim iski aatma hai..
Sms wo gyaan hai jo baantne se badhta hai..
Isliye he manav! Balance ka moh tyaag kar sms karna shuru kar!!
Moksh milega!!




Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!





WORLD'S SMALLEST RESIGNATION LETTER-
.
.
.
Dear Sir,
.
.
MAIN CHALA!!! ;-)





Examiner- Ye kaun sa bird hai? Iski taang dekh kar batao!
Student- Pata nahi..
Examiner- Tum fail ho gaye! Wat's ur name??
Student- Le meri taang dekh kar bata!!!




3 lessons from 3 idiots movie-
1] Do any work with Passion & Choice
2] Believe in yourself [All izz well]
3] Always have 1 idiot frd like me.. ;-)



Woh inkar karte hain ikrar ke liye,
Nafrat bhi karte hain to pyar ke liye,
Ulti chaal chalte hain yeh ishqwale,
Ankhein band karte hain didar ke liye.




Santa aur Banta k bich me fight ho rahi thi..
Banta- Saale main tere kapde phaad k tujhe nanga kar doonga!!
Santa- Dekh serious ladai me Romantic baat mat kar!!!!




HEIGHT OF INSULT-
Boy asks a girl- Can u dance with me??
Girl- (with attitude) I don't dance with a child..
Boy- Oh! Sorry aunty! I didn't know u r pregnant!!!! ;-)




Pyar Se Hame koi gila nahi
Kyoki Pyar Hame kabhi Mila nahi
Hamne to ki hai umar bhar dosti
kyoki doston se jyada pyar karne wala mila nahi




Husband comes home after drinking & says- Priye! Aaj kuch aisa kaho k
mere kadam zameen pe na rahein..
Wife- Haraam khor! FAANSI LAGALE!!!




Doctor Patient se- Ab kaisa lag raha hai??
Patient- Khaansi to band ho gayi hai.. Magar saans ruk ruk kar aa rahi hai..
Doctor- Ghabrao mat! Insha allah wo bhi jaldi hi band ho jaayegi!! ;-)




Santa- Main ek baar apne bathroom me susu karne gaya to wahan sher tha!!
Banta- Fir kya hua?
Santa- Maine sher se kaha, Aap karlo! Mera to nikal gaya....




2 friends were attending a boring lecture..
.
.
1st frd- Even my ass has fallen asleep..
2nd frd- I know! I heard it snore 3 times..




H
A
P
P
Y
.
.
N
E
.
.
HAPPY NE padosi ki ladki chhed di..
.
.
Aaj panchayat bulayi hai..
.
.
Agle k ghar KALESH ho gaya aur aap naye saal ki badhai dhoond rahe ho...






Jewelery shop me Santa ki zabardast pitayi ho gayi..
Why??
Santa ne sales girl se kaha- "Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai..
Sone ka kya rate lengi????"




Archimede's love principle-
Wen a heart is dipped partially or fully in d love of a girl, then d loss in studies is equal to time spent in her memories.. ;-)




HEY GUD NEWS-
All march exams have been Cancelled coz of Swine-flu..
To confirm, see d website- www.ajab-bachhon-k-gajab-sapne.com ;-)




Professor- Chemical symbol of Barium??
Santa- BA!
Professor- For Sodium??
Santa- NA!
Professor- Good!! Wat forms wen 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combine??
Santa- BANANA.. ;-)




A BAD NEWS FOR ALL YOUNG GALS & GUYS-
.
.

Dear, This Valentine is coming on Sunday!!
.
.
Ab kya bol k ghar se nikloge???
Ha Ha!!
.
.
Enjoy this Valentine with ur family.. ;-)





Lion comes across Pig & said- I roar & d jungle fears!!
Pig replies- Nowadays, I sneeze & d World fears!!! ;-)



70% College students in d World r sufferring from AIDS!!!
.
.
Can't believe??
.
.
But its true!!
.
.
AIDS
.
.
A- Attendance &
I- Internal marks
D- Deficiency
S- Syndrome!! ;-)





Ek baar ek terrirorist ne ek budhiya k bag me Bomb rakh diya!
Log chillaye- BUDHIYA BOMB! BUDHIYA BOMB!
Budhiya sharma k boli- Wo toh main jawani me thi.. ;-)




TOMORROW ALL SCHOOLS & COLLEGES WILL B CLOSED!
JUST INFORM TO ALL..
ALL EXAMS WILL ALSO B POSTPONED!
kyuki
Rosy miss ka kutta mar gaya!!
Wooooooo..... ;-)





Why do Indian women want same husband in next life too??
.
.
Bcoz
.
.
Efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not b wasted!! ;-)





Madam- Wo kya hai jo aadmi 2 taango par khada hoke karta hai par Dog 3 taango par??
Harry- SHAKE HAND!
.
.
MORAL- Harry jaise samajhdar aur shareef baniye!! ;-)




CUTE ROMANCE-
A boy & a girl in nursery class were kissing each other!
Suddenly teacher came!
"Wat's happening??"
Girl- "Mam! Isne meri vaseline le li! Waapash le lahi hoon!!"




HUSBAND & WIFE r like tyres of a vehicle!
If 1 punctures, d vehicle cant move further!!
MORAL- ALWAYS KEEP A SPARE TYRE!!! ;-)




Questn- Kutta poonchh kyun hilata hai??
?
?
?
Answr- Kyunki poonchh me itni taqat nahi ki wo kutte ko hila sake!!! ;-)




Kabhi ye mat socho k aapka BOYFRIEND aapko kitna ROMANTIC msg bhejta hai..
Ye socho k USKO KISNE BHEJA HOGA!!! ;-)
ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST-
Jaago ladkiyon jaago!!!




CHANGING EXAM PATTERN-
In 1990- Answer all questions!!
In 2008- Write any 6 questions!!
In 2015- Read only questions!!
In 2020- Thanx for coming!! Aap aaye bahaar aayi!!! ;-)





ECG of a student-
NORMAL HEART- _,"._/\_,"._/\,_,",_/\_
EXAM TIME- _/|_/|_/|_/|_/|_/|_
&
WEN RESULTS R ANNOUNCED- _____________





Once James Bond met a Dog in a jungle & said-
"I'm Bond, James Bond!!"
.
.
Dog bites him & replies- "I'm kutta! Paagal kutta!!!"





3 Stupid stages of life-
TEEN- Have time & energy but no money
YOUNG- Have money & energy but no time
OLD- Have time & money but no energy!! ;-)





Smartness of boys-
Coll ka 1st day!
Boy- Tumhara naam kya hai?
Girl- Mujhe sab 'didi' kehte hain!
Boy- Wow! Wat a co-incidence? Mujhe sab 'jijaji' kehte hain!! ;-)




Sardar- Mere padosi ka bachha gum ho gaya!
Kallu- Fir tumne kya kaha?
Sardar- Maine kaha google pe search karlo..
Mil jaye to download karlo ;-)




A boy wrote love letter with blood to a Medical student Girl & said- 'Khat ka jawaab zarur dena!'
Girl replied- "Blood group- B+
Haemoglobin- 8gm
Sugar- 120
Fee- Rs 80!!"





ARZ KIYA HAI!
.
.
Saas hove taa changi hove!
.
.
Gaur kijiyega!
.
.
Saas hove taa changi hove!
.
.
Nahin taa photo deewar te tangi hove!!!! ;-)





Ek murgi market gayi aur boli-"Ek anda dena!"
Shopkeeper- Ande ka tum kya karogi??
Murgi- Mere pati ne kaha hai k 2 Rs k liye tum apna figure kharaab mat karo!



A couple were together..
Girl- My head is paining!
Boy kissed her head!
.
.
Girl- My neck is paining!
Boy kissed her neck!
.
.
An old man asked- Beta loose motions ka bhi ilaaz karte ho kya??? ;-)





RAVINDRANATH TAGORE sharmayenge to unhe kya kahenge?
.
.
SHARMILA TAGORE!!!


Funny SMS-2


Teacher asks a marathi Boy- Give me an example of Positive, Comparative &

Superlative degree!
Boy answers- "Bhari!!.. Layi bhari!!.. Layi mhanje layich bhari!!.." ;-)




Ek ladki khadi thi..
Na sms kar rahi thi..
Na call kar rahi thi..
Fir bhi uska balance ja raha tha...
.
.
Kaise??
.
.
Kyuki
.
.
Wo ek pair par khadi thi.. ;-)




Usne jis jis jagah rakhhe kadam,
Humne wo har zameen choom li..
Aur wo bewafa ghar aakar kehti hai- "Kaku! Tumcha mulga maati khato!!!"





I saw someone in coffee shop today..
.
.
Graceful
Intelligent
Very smart
More like a celebrity!!
.
.
I went closer!!
.
.
Oh God!!
.
.
Yeh "mirrors" bhi na!!!





Ek sardar road pe potty kar raha tha..
Police ne use pakad liya..
Jab use le jaane lage to Sardar bola, "O KAANOON K RAKHWALO!
SABOOT TO UTHALO!!" ;-)




Ek ship me 300 sardar jaa rahe the..
Bina ship doobe, sabhi doob gaye..
.
.
KAISE??
.
.
SHIP BAND HO GAYA
.
.
AUR SABHI DHAKKA DENE K LIYE UTAR GAYE!!!





Chuhiya hathi se- 'I luv u!'
Hathi- 'Tujhe mujhse darr nahi lagta?'
Chuhiya ne turant bhagwan ganesh ki photo nikali aur boli- 'Tujhme rab dikhta hai.. Yaara main kya karoon???' ;-)





If Amitabh Bachhan is PAA,
Then who is MAA??
Answer- LETTER!!
HOW??
Chitthi AAI hai AAI hai
Chitthi AAI hai..





EPALI ANTHEM-
Suno gorse duniya walo,
Chahe jitne mehel banalo,
Ushke aage garden banalo,
Ushke aage Gate lagalo,
Ushke aage honge hum NEPALI.. ;-)





TYPICAL STUDENT LIKE ME tosses a coin & thinks-
HEADS- will sleep
TAILS- will watch tv
COIN STANDS- will listen to music
STAYS IN AIR- will study... ;-)






Aajkal ki ladkiyon ki dress-
Yahan se less
Wahan se less
Kabhi sleeveless
Kabhi backless..
Aur koi ladka ghoor kar dekhe to
"KUTTA KAMINA SAALA CHARACTERLESS!!!" ;-)





SANTA- Tere kitne bachhe hain?
BANTA- 18
SANTA- Itne saare?
BANTA- Sasurji se wada kiya tha k unki beti ko kabhi khaali pet nahi rakhoonga ;-)



Sardar bag lekar bus me ghusa..
Aur zor se chillaya-
.
.
"KHABARDAR!!
KOI APNI JAGAH SE NAHI HILEGA!!
.
.
HAPPY SINGH
KULFIWALA KHUD SABKE PAAS AAYEGA!!!!" ;-)





Wife- Maine GADHO par research ki hai..
Wo apni GADHI k siwa kisi aur GADHI ko dekhte tak nahi..
Pati- Isliye to!!
Use GADHA kehte hain!!! ;-)





Banta- Wise men r always in doubt only idiots r sure of their case!
Santa- Ru sure??
Banta- Yes! Obviously!!




New style of proposing a girl- "I've spent many sleepless nights in ur luv & I don't want my son to do d same for ur daughter.. So lets make them Brother & Sister.." ;-)




AGE OF DRINKS-
1-3 CERELAC
4-8 MILK
9-13 HORLICKS
14-25 BEER
26-40 WHISKY
41-60 TONIC
.
.
AFTER 60- anytime GANGAJAL!!!!





Raat ki tanhai me jab koi aahat tumhe jagaye, Chupke se koi tumhare bed k paas aaye to
.
.
to
.
.
BEWAKOOF CHILLA ZOR SE
.
.
CHOR CHOR!!!






Ravan ko court le jaya gaya.
Judge- Apna haath gita par rakho!
Ravan- Sorry boss!!
Sita par haath rakh kar itna lafda hua, ab gita par nahi rakhunga!!





Do u remember d day we travelled in a car??
I put my dog out of d window..
U put ur face out of d window..
& ppl started shouting TWINS TWINS!!! ;-)






ULTRA HEIGHT OF LAZYNESS-
.
.
SLEEPING & DREAMING..
.
.
In DREAMING also SLEEPING!!!





DOVE se naha dho kar kya karna hai??
21 DEC 2012 k din sabko marna hai..
3 saal khushi se jee le dost,
Kyuki agle janam me phir JOHNSON baby se shuru karna hai.. ;-)





JOKE OF D DAY-
Small things hurt alot..
Eg. U can sit on a mountain top but not on a pin.. ;-)





I'M LAMP
U R LIGHT..
I'M COKE
U R SPRITE..
I'M SAAWAN
U R BAADAL..
I'M NORMAL
U R
.
.
.
ALSO NORMAL!!
KYA YAAR!!
KHUD PE HI SHAQ KARTE HO?? ;-)





3 IDIOTS REMIX-
Student- GIVE ME SOME EXTRA TIME,
GIVE ME SOME BRAIN,
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE,
TO WRITE MY PAPER ONCE AGAIN...
.
.
Examiner- NANANANA.. NA NA NA NA NA.. NANANA NANA...





REMIX OF UNCHHA LAMBA KAD-
Ik unchha lamba kutta,
Saadi gali wich sutta,
Raati thandi wich baaun baaun karda ni...
Oh Gwandia di kutti utte marda ni...
Baoon Baoon Baoon..




If a baby is born in AFRICA,
Wat will b d color of d baby's teeth??
.
.
.
.
U FOOL!!
A new born baby doesn't have teeth!!
I KNOW UR ANSWER WAS "WHITE"!! ;-)





said I'm d sweetest in d world..
God laughed & said- Wait u haven't met d person reading this..
.
.
MORAL- God also jokes!! ;-)




Jawani ko zindagi ki nikhaar kehte hain
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain
Ajeeb chalan hai duniya ka yaaro
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab "PYAAR" kehte hain





Aasman me tum, Paani me tum,
Zamee pe tum, Hawa pe tum..
Jahan jao wahan tum hi tum..
Dettol wali aunty theek hi kehti hain..
KITANU har jagah hote hain.. :-P




Reporter ne ek zakhmi se poochha- "Jab bomb gira kya wo phat gaya tha??"
Zakhmi (gusse se)- "Nahi! Wo reng kar mere paas aaya aur pyaar se bola "THAAA" B-)





BEFORE MARRIAGE-
.
.
BOY- YES at last! It was so hard to wait!
GIRL- Do u want me to leave?
BOY- No! Dont ever think abt it!
GIRL- Do u love me?
BOY- Of course! Over & over!
GIRL- Have u ever cheated on me?
BOY- No! Y ru even asking?
GIRL- Will u kiss me?
BOY- Every chance I get!
GIRL- Will u hit me?
BOY- R u crazy? I'm not that kind of a person!
GIRL- Can I trust u?
BOY- Yes!!
GIRL- My darling!
.
.
AFTER MARRIAGE??
Simply read from bottom towards up!!






Making a million friends is not an achievement..
The achievement is to make "A" friend who will stand by u wen a million r against u..




Our life begins with a CRY!
Our life ends with OTHERS' CRY!
Try to utilize this gap & laugh as much as possible between these cries!!





A BAMS student had finished his course & was performing his 1st operation soon after finishing..
He prayed to God- "Lord! Accept my 1st gift 4u.."





Ek baar exam me question aaya- HIPS PE ESSAY LIKHO!
Santa apni pant kholkar hips dekh raha tha tabhi Banta bola- MAM! USNE KUNJI KHOL RAKHI HAI!!




DIFFERENT STYLES OF SAYING GOOD NIGHT-
DAD- GUDNITE SON!
FRND- GUDNITE DUDE!
GF- GUDNITE BABY!
LOVER- GUDNITE JAANU!
But MOM- SUSU KARKE SONA BETA!!!
MOMS ROCK!!!




MURDA AASHIQ KI GUZARISH-
Mat nikalo mera janaza us bewafa ki gali se..
Warna uska baap kahega kamina marte-marte bhi ek chakkar laga gaya!!!





Yamraj ne ek aadmi ko maar daya!
Chitragupt ne poochha- Maharaj aapne isse samay se pehle kyon maar diya?
Yamraj bole- Kya karoon? Closing ka time hai.. Target to poora karna hai.. ;-)





Sardar to Doctor- Wen I sleep, Monkeys plays football in my mind!
Doctor- No problem! Just take these medicines before sleeping!
Sardar- Kal se kha loonga! Aaj final hai!!