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हिंदी मैं टाइप करें

विजेट आपके ब्लॉग पर

New Delhi Time

Indian Calendar

Funny SMS-5


Never kiss a Lawyer!
She'll say, I OBJECT!
Never kiss a Nurse!
She'll say, NEXT!
Always kiss a Teacher!
She'll say, DO IT 5 TIMES! & KEEP REVISING!! ;-)




Shaadi k doosre din beti apni maa se- Aaj meri unse bahut ladai ho gayi!
Maa- Beti shaadi me jhagde to hote rehte hain!
Beti- Wo sab to theek hai! Par ab LAASH ka kya karoon???




3 ways to catch a tiger-
1] NEWTON'S METHOD- Allow d tiger to catch u & catch d tiger!
2] EINSTEIN'S METHOD- Chase d tiger until it gets tired & then catch it!
3] INDIAN POLICE METHOD- Catch a cat & beat it until it accepts it is a tiger!




Pakistani poem-
Taliban Taliban!
Yes papa!
Exploding bombs?
No papa!
Telling lie?
No papa!
Open ur jacket!
THAA THAA THAA!!! ;-)





Baby sardar praying-
Bhagwaan ji! Plz Punjab nu america di capital bana do!!!
Plz plz plz!
Bhagwaan ji- Kyun yaara?
Baby- Kyuki main exam vich likh aaya si!!! ;-)




Whr can u see MANGOES??
?
?
On Mango Tree?
.
.
No!
.
.
At Fruit shop?
.
.
Wrong again!
.
.
Fir kahan?
.
.
Jaha jaha Woman Goes,
Peeche peeche
MAN-GOES!! ;-)





Thirsty crow story in Hinglish-
Once upon a Waqt,
Thr was a Kauwa!
He was very Pyasa!
Here there Bhatka,
He saw a Matka!
Some patthar Patka,
Water Gatka & Satka!! ;-)





Santa Was Suffering From Loose Motion
Doctor Asked - What Is Your Problem?
He Said- Free OutGoing With Variety Of Ring Tones'!




Banta : Agar aapko
Garmi lage to aap kya
karte ho?
Santa : Cooler k samne baith jata hu.
Banta : fir bhi Garmi lage to?
Santa : Toh Cooler on kar leta hu.





This msg has
NO FAT
NO CHOLESTEROL
NO ADDITIVES
It has
Natural Flavours of
LOVE
CARE
JOY
It contains
PRAYERS 4 U
IT is 100% Pure
Just like our FRIENDSHIP






Ek haathi romantic mood me ek cheeti ko chhedta hai..
Cheeti gusse me hathni k paas jakar kehti hai,
"Apne aawara pati ko samjha lo! Warna Mard hamare ghar me bhi hain.." ;-)




A sardar introduces his family @ a function..
Hi! I'm sardar!
This is my sardarni!
He is my Kid!
She is my Kidney!!! ;-)




Baby mosquito came back after its 1st flight..
His dad asked him, how do u feel?
He replied, "It was wonderful! Everyone was clapping for me!!"
Thats Attitude!! ;-)





Arz hai janaab-
Jise koyal samjha wo kauwa nikla,
Dosti k naam par hauwa nikla,
Jo roka karte the hamein sharaab peene se,
Aaj unhi ki jeb se pauwa nikla.. ;-)




Sardar- Express train kitne baje ki hai?
TC- 1 baje!
Sardar- Local train?
TC- 9 baje!
Sardar- Maal gadi?
TC- Jaana kahan hai?
Sardar- Patri cross karni hai!! ;-)




Question- Voting k liye 18 saal aur Shaadi k liye 21 saal poore hone chahiye! Aisa kyun hai???
Answer- Kyunki sarkar sambhalna aasan hota hai par biwi sambhaalna utna hi mushkil! ;-)





Ek ladka bus stop pe mobile le kar khada tha..
Wo kisi ko bhi call/ sms nahi kar tha fir bhi uska balance jaa raha tha!!
Batao kaise??
[ANS- Wo ek taang pe khada tha!!] ;-)




Life's like a movie!
If u r sad- DRAMA,
If u r afraid- SUSPENSE,
If u r angry- ACTION,
If u look in mirror- COMEDY!
.
.
Now u r smiling!
That's- HORROR!! ;-)




Sardaar ne maachis ki tilli jalai..
Nahi jali!
Dusri jalai,
Nahi jali!
Teesri jalai,
Jal gayi..
Sardar ne jaldi se bujha di aur bola, "Ye kaam ki hai! Rakh leta hoon!!!" ;-)





Important baat-
Ek din aapki life me ek ladka aayega jo apko bahut jyada pyaar karega..
Apko pyaar se chhuega..
Dher saare kiss karega aur kahega..
.
.
.
I LOVE U MOM!! ;-)





An elephant fell in love with an ant..
But ant's parents were against marriage!
Guess why??
.
.
.
They gave a solid reason!
Ladke ke daant baahar hain!! ;-)





1 hand on pen,
Other on phone..
1 ear on lecture,
Other on gossip..
1 eye on board,
Other on crush..
Kaun gadha kehta hai, Student life is easy!!!





Aapko tohfe me laptop dena chaha..
.
.
.
Lekin
.
.
.
Is tarah button daba daba k aap kharaab kar doge!

Islaye cancel kar diya!! ;-)






Agar koi Galti,
Gustaakhi,
Mistake,
etc
ho gayi ho..
toh
plz...
.
.
.
.
.
Maafi maang lo! Main aaj bahut achhe mood me hoon :-)






If sum1 throws a stone at u, just smile & throw back a flower back at them....
But make sure u throw a flower with pot!!! ;-)





A boy on a date in BMW car..
BOY- Maine tumse ek baat chhupai hai!
GIRL- Kya?
BOY- I'm already married!
GIRL- Tumne to dara hi diya tha! Main samjhi BMW tumhari nahi hai..





Why do we all marry??
Coz Romance is not the only Element of life!
One should also experience Horror, Suspense, Irony, Stupidity & Tragedy in life..





Vidaai k samay Dulhe ka mobile baja..
Bride slappe him!
.
.
Why??
.
.
Uski ringtone thi, 'Dil me chhupakar pyaar ka armaan hum chale,
Hum aaj apni maut ka saaman le chale!!' ;-)





If Bill Gates stops his business & start spending his money by Rs 1 crore/ day, He can spend it for about 725yrs..
But he still prefers earning his day ;-)




3 sardars going on a motorcycle..
A policeman shows his hand to stop!
Sardar shouted- "Idiot! Already 3 r sitting! tu kya sir pe baithega???"





Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi.. ;-)





Mukesh & Anil have been advised to take large doses of Hajmola!!
Why???
?
?
?
Bcoz Hajmola guarantees to solve al ur GAS problems!! ;-)





A single spelling mistake that caused a Divorce!!
'A man went to Goa & sent a msg back to his wife- Having amazing & wonderful time!! Wish u were her....!!!!'




Sumit was filling up a job application.
He came to d column 'SALARY EXPECTED'..
After much thought he wrote- 'YES'!!! ;-)




SAM- I woke up this morning & felt like going out & getting a job!
PAM- Did u?
SAM- No.. I stayed in bed until d feeling passed... ;-)



NICKY- Wat's FORD?
LUCKY- Gaadi!
NICKY- Wat's OXFORD?
LUCKY- So simple! BAEL-GAADI!! ;-)





After eating fish Santa Singh never drinks water!
WHY??
Coz..
He feared that fish will start swimming in his stomach!! ;-)




If ever u start missing
ur coll days,
ur class,
ur frd circle,
ur crush or
anything abt ur coll life then
.
.
.
.
.
Just open ur marksheet!
.
.
.
.
SAARA NASHA UTAR JAYEGA!! ;-)





3 thing that should not be asked-
1] A man's WAGE..
2] A woman's AGE..
3] A student's PERCENTAGE...
.
.
IT HURTS!!!
.
.
After all, hamari bhi feelings hain :-(




A sardarji doctor falls in love with a nurse.
He writes a letter to d nurse - "Love u Sister!!"





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