Funny SMS-4

Banta's advice- Dont carry umbrella during rains!!
Keep WHISPER on ur head!
Ye ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsaas na hone de!! ;-)

U R MY BEST, SMART, CUTE, LOVABLE, SWEET, INTELLIGENT FRIEND!!
NOTE- Is msg k sabhi shabd kaalpnik hain!
Inka vaastwikta se koi sambandh nahi!!
Ha ha ha!! ;-)

Wat vl 2 Gay men tell each other wen they see a Beautiful & Pretty girl????
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YAAR, LADKI AISI HAI TO ISKA BHAI KAISA HOGA??? ;-)

UP me bachhon k surname-
Bachha 1 baap se ho to- EKNATH
2 se- DUBE
3 se- TIVARI
4 se- CHATURVEDI
5 se- PANDE
Sabse ho to- MISHRA JI
aur
Baap ka pata na ho to - GUPTA ji!!! ;-)

KID- Mom, I want a Baby brother!
MOM- Son, ur dad is overseas! Wen he comes back, we'll talk over it!
KID- Why dont u just surprise him???.... ;-)

MAKKHAN- Tumhari gaadi kaisi condition me hai??
DHAKKAN- Horn k alawa sab cheez aawaz karti hain!! :-|

Reporter ne ek zakhmi se poocha- "Jab bomb gira kya wo phata??"
Zakhmi (gusse me)- "Nahi! Wo reng kar mere paas aaya aur pyaar se bola- DHAPPAAAA!!!!" ;-P

Thr's always a DRIVE SLOW board near Boy's school, but not near Girls' college!
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WHY??
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Coz vehicles automatically go slow thr!! ;-)

Ek parinde ko machhli se pyaar ho gaya!
Par wo dono milein to kaise??
Machhli paani chhod nahi sakti aur parinda paani me ja nahi sakta!
If u know d answer, reply!! ;-)

(ANSWER- Zaruri nahi k pyaar karne wale ka pyaar tabhi poora ho jab wo milein! Ek doosre ko khush dekh kar bhi wo jee sakte hain!!! TOO HYPOTHETICAL :-l)

How does a smart & intelligent person take bath during winter??
Ans- He stands in front of mirror, throws water on d mirror & says- "CHAK DE FATTE!! Aaj phir naha liya!!!" ;-)

NON SMOKERS- I hate cigarette! So I dont touch it!
SMOKER- I too hate cigarette! So I BURN IT!!
ATTITUDE MATTERS!! ;-)

Dear subscriber,
We're sorry to inform u that ur Roaming facility has expired today!
Kindly return to
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ZOO!!
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IMMEDIATELY!!! ;-)

Yesterday in my dreams, all my books were singing a song!
Guess which one??
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Zara zara touch me touch me touch me!
Zara zara hold me hold me hold me!!! ;-)

A SAYING- 'Sorrow is ur constant companion!
Happiness comes & goes!'
Sardar agrees- 'My wife is always vd me! Her sister comes & goes!!' ;-)

WHY IS INDUSTRIAL GROWTH SO SLOW IN TAMIL NADU & KERELA??
COZ
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86% WORK-TIME IS SPENT ON
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LIFTING
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FOLDING
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&
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HOLDING D LUNGI!!! ;-)

DO BAAR LIPS PE
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DO BAAR GAAL PE
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EK BAAR MAATHE PE
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COLD CREAM ZAROOR LAGANA!!
SARDI AA GAYI HAI NA!! ;-)
HAPPY WINTER SEASON!!

JO PASAND AAYI WO MILI NAHI,
JO MILI WO JAMI NAHI,
JO JAMI USKE SAATH MAZA NAHI AAYA,
JIASKE SAATH MAZA AAYA WO HAEMSHA K LIYE RAHI NAHI!!!
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AJEEB HAI YE NAUKRI!!!! ;-)

Dog & mosquito were in love!
1 day Mosquito gave love-bite to dog!
Dog got emotional & bite Mosquito!
Next day,
Mosquito died of Rabies &
Dog died of Malaria!!
Pyaar k side- effects!!

Cutest msg-
A cute newborn baby asks Doctor- "Do u hav sms pack?"
Dr- Ya! But why?
Baby- Send a sms to God dat I've reached safely & send my girlfriend soon!! ;-)

1980 girl- Pehla pehla pyaar hai, Jiya bekaraar hai..
Aaja mere saajna tera intzaar hai!
2008 girl- 3ra 4tha pyaar hai, Jiya bekaraar hai..
Aaja mere saajna nahi to 5va tayyar hai.. ;-)

Kash Vaado ka matlab wo samajte
Kash khomoshi ka matlab wo samajte
nazar kehti hai hazaar baatein
kash meri ek nazar ka matlab wo samajte

Yashomati maiyya se bole Nandlala-
"Maa, Tata Sky laga dala to life Jhingalala!!!"
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Ab hanso pet pakad pakad ke!!

Where was Love born?
Guess!
Simple!
In CHINA!
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Coz
It has
NO WARRANTY
& NO GUARANTEE!
Chale to chand tak!
Nahi to shaam tak!! ;-)

CUTEST PROPOSAL EVER-
A boy in 1st std- "Do u hug ur teddy bear while sleeping at night??"
Girl- Yes!
Boy- Can I replace it for d rest of ur life??? ;-)

Life of a Student-
Wallet hai Paise nahi..
Lectures hain Attendance nahi..
Mobile hai Balance nahi..
Frnds hain Girlfrnd nahi..
Exams hain Tension nahi..
Padhna hai, Mood nahi.. ;-)

Doctor girl 1- Dil k operation ko Bypass kyun kehte hain??
Doctor girl 2- Kyuki agar operation theek ho gaya to PASS! Warna hamesha k liye BYE BYE!!!

15 to 20 saal ki larki football ki tarha hai aik k pechay dus log.

21 to 30 saal ki larki cricket ball hai aik k pas ati hai baqi reh jatay hain.

31 to 40 saal ki larki to nahi hoti,
Woh aurat hoti hai jo table tennis ki ball ki tarha hai aik kehta hai tu rakh dusra kehta hai tu rakh !

Wife Pati ko maar rahi thi-
Padosi- Kyu maar rahi ho?
Patni- Inko phone kiya to ek ladki boli aap jisse sampark karna chahte ho wo abhi vyast hai..

Hijde shaadi me badhai dene gaye!
Hijda 1- Hay hay! Main to 1100 loongi!
Hijda 2- Main 2100 loongi!
Santa- Arre 2310 lo! Usme FM bhi hai!!! ;-)

Professor- Wen wud b India's Biggest Confusion Day?
Student- Sir! Wen Raksha Bandhan vl come on 14th Feb!!

A sardar went to a temple on Hanuman Jayanti!
Pujari gave him aarti..
Guess wat sardar did??
Sardar blew off d Diya & said- HAPPY B'DAY HANUMAN JI..

BOY- My father's name is Laughing!
Mother's name is Smiling!
TEACHER- U must be Kidding!!
BOY- No, thats my brother!
I'm Joking!! ;-)

Santa was walking thru d forest..
He saw a snake hanging on d tree!
Santa- Sirf latakne se kuch nahi hoga! Mummy ko bolo Complan pilaayein!! ;-)

Santa ne ek raah chalti ajnabi ladki se kaha- Aapne pehchana mujhko?
Ladki- Nahi..
Santa- Main wahi hoon jise aapne parson bhi nahi pehchaana tha!! ;-)

MY THOUGHTS FOR LIFETIME-
Achha dost kitni bhi baar rooth jaye, usse mana lena chahiye!
Kyuki wo KAMEENA aapke saare raaz janta hai!!!!!

HA
HA
HA HA
HA HA HA
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HE HE
HE HE HE
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HOOO
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Kuch nahi yaar!
Achanak tera chehra yaad aa gaya tha!!
Kabhi kabhi bhagwaan bhi accha mazaak kar lete hain ;-)

Nurse- Mubarak ho! Aapke ghar beta hua hai!
Santa- Wah! Kya technology hai! Biwi meri hospital mein hai aur bachha ghar paida hua hai???? ;-)

BOYS' PSYCHOLOGY-
Fraud vd innocent girl,
Frdshp vd charming girl,
Contacts vd smart girl,
Flirt vd freaky girl,
Luv vd cute girl &
Marriage 'Jaisi mummy ki marzi!!!'

A tragic Love-story:
A Pig fell in love with a Hen..
1 day they kissed each other!
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Next day,
the Pig died of Bird Flu!
& the Hen died of Swine Flu!! :-(

Jo mujhe bhool jaye uska mobile toot jaye..
Charger jal jaye..
Local call pe STD ka bill aaye..
Har call pe roaming lag jaye!!!
AAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEN!!!!!