Funny SMS-3

GEETA SAAR-
Mobile nirjeev hai!
Sim iski aatma hai..
Sms wo gyaan hai jo baantne se badhta hai..
Isliye he manav! Balance ka moh tyaag kar sms karna shuru kar!!
Moksh milega!!

Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

WORLD'S SMALLEST RESIGNATION LETTER-
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Dear Sir,
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MAIN CHALA!!! ;-)

Examiner- Ye kaun sa bird hai? Iski taang dekh kar batao!
Student- Pata nahi..
Examiner- Tum fail ho gaye! Wat's ur name??
Student- Le meri taang dekh kar bata!!!

3 lessons from 3 idiots movie-
1] Do any work with Passion & Choice
2] Believe in yourself [All izz well]
3] Always have 1 idiot frd like me.. ;-)

Woh inkar karte hain ikrar ke liye,
Nafrat bhi karte hain to pyar ke liye,
Ulti chaal chalte hain yeh ishqwale,
Ankhein band karte hain didar ke liye.

Santa aur Banta k bich me fight ho rahi thi..
Banta- Saale main tere kapde phaad k tujhe nanga kar doonga!!
Santa- Dekh serious ladai me Romantic baat mat kar!!!!

HEIGHT OF INSULT-
Boy asks a girl- Can u dance with me??
Girl- (with attitude) I don't dance with a child..
Boy- Oh! Sorry aunty! I didn't know u r pregnant!!!! ;-)

Pyar Se Hame koi gila nahi
Kyoki Pyar Hame kabhi Mila nahi
Hamne to ki hai umar bhar dosti
kyoki doston se jyada pyar karne wala mila nahi

Husband comes home after drinking & says- Priye! Aaj kuch aisa kaho k
mere kadam zameen pe na rahein..
Wife- Haraam khor! FAANSI LAGALE!!!

Doctor Patient se- Ab kaisa lag raha hai??
Patient- Khaansi to band ho gayi hai.. Magar saans ruk ruk kar aa rahi hai..
Doctor- Ghabrao mat! Insha allah wo bhi jaldi hi band ho jaayegi!! ;-)

Santa- Main ek baar apne bathroom me susu karne gaya to wahan sher tha!!
Banta- Fir kya hua?
Santa- Maine sher se kaha, Aap karlo! Mera to nikal gaya....

2 friends were attending a boring lecture..
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1st frd- Even my ass has fallen asleep..
2nd frd- I know! I heard it snore 3 times..

H
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P
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N
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HAPPY NE padosi ki ladki chhed di..
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Aaj panchayat bulayi hai..
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Agle k ghar KALESH ho gaya aur aap naye saal ki badhai dhoond rahe ho...

Jewelery shop me Santa ki zabardast pitayi ho gayi..
Why??
Santa ne sales girl se kaha- "Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai..
Sone ka kya rate lengi????"

Archimede's love principle-
Wen a heart is dipped partially or fully in d love of a girl, then d loss in studies is equal to time spent in her memories.. ;-)

HEY GUD NEWS-
All march exams have been Cancelled coz of Swine-flu..
To confirm, see d website- www.ajab-bachhon-k-gajab-sapne.com ;-)

Professor- Chemical symbol of Barium??
Santa- BA!
Professor- For Sodium??
Santa- NA!
Professor- Good!! Wat forms wen 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combine??
Santa- BANANA.. ;-)

A BAD NEWS FOR ALL YOUNG GALS & GUYS-
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Dear, This Valentine is coming on Sunday!!
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Ab kya bol k ghar se nikloge???
Ha Ha!!
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Enjoy this Valentine with ur family.. ;-)

Lion comes across Pig & said- I roar & d jungle fears!!
Pig replies- Nowadays, I sneeze & d World fears!!! ;-)

70% College students in d World r sufferring from AIDS!!!
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Can't believe??
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But its true!!
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AIDS
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A- Attendance &
I- Internal marks
D- Deficiency
S- Syndrome!! ;-)

Ek baar ek terrirorist ne ek budhiya k bag me Bomb rakh diya!
Log chillaye- BUDHIYA BOMB! BUDHIYA BOMB!
Budhiya sharma k boli- Wo toh main jawani me thi.. ;-)

TOMORROW ALL SCHOOLS & COLLEGES WILL B CLOSED!
JUST INFORM TO ALL..
ALL EXAMS WILL ALSO B POSTPONED!
kyuki
Rosy miss ka kutta mar gaya!!
Wooooooo..... ;-)

Why do Indian women want same husband in next life too??
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Bcoz
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Efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not b wasted!! ;-)

Madam- Wo kya hai jo aadmi 2 taango par khada hoke karta hai par Dog 3 taango par??
Harry- SHAKE HAND!
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MORAL- Harry jaise samajhdar aur shareef baniye!! ;-)

CUTE ROMANCE-
A boy & a girl in nursery class were kissing each other!
Suddenly teacher came!
"Wat's happening??"
Girl- "Mam! Isne meri vaseline le li! Waapash le lahi hoon!!"

HUSBAND & WIFE r like tyres of a vehicle!
If 1 punctures, d vehicle cant move further!!
MORAL- ALWAYS KEEP A SPARE TYRE!!! ;-)

Questn- Kutta poonchh kyun hilata hai??
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Answr- Kyunki poonchh me itni taqat nahi ki wo kutte ko hila sake!!! ;-)

Kabhi ye mat socho k aapka BOYFRIEND aapko kitna ROMANTIC msg bhejta hai..
Ye socho k USKO KISNE BHEJA HOGA!!! ;-)
ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST-
Jaago ladkiyon jaago!!!

CHANGING EXAM PATTERN-
In 1990- Answer all questions!!
In 2008- Write any 6 questions!!
In 2015- Read only questions!!
In 2020- Thanx for coming!! Aap aaye bahaar aayi!!! ;-)

ECG of a student-
NORMAL HEART- _,"._/\_,"._/\,_,",_/\_
EXAM TIME- _/|_/|_/|_/|_/|_/|_
&
WEN RESULTS R ANNOUNCED- _____________

Once James Bond met a Dog in a jungle & said-
"I'm Bond, James Bond!!"
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Dog bites him & replies- "I'm kutta! Paagal kutta!!!"

3 Stupid stages of life-
TEEN- Have time & energy but no money
YOUNG- Have money & energy but no time
OLD- Have time & money but no energy!! ;-)

Smartness of boys-
Coll ka 1st day!
Boy- Tumhara naam kya hai?
Girl- Mujhe sab 'didi' kehte hain!
Boy- Wow! Wat a co-incidence? Mujhe sab 'jijaji' kehte hain!! ;-)

Sardar- Mere padosi ka bachha gum ho gaya!
Kallu- Fir tumne kya kaha?
Sardar- Maine kaha google pe search karlo..
Mil jaye to download karlo ;-)

A boy wrote love letter with blood to a Medical student Girl & said- 'Khat ka jawaab zarur dena!'
Girl replied- "Blood group- B+
Haemoglobin- 8gm
Sugar- 120
Fee- Rs 80!!"

ARZ KIYA HAI!
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Saas hove taa changi hove!
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Gaur kijiyega!
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Saas hove taa changi hove!
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Nahin taa photo deewar te tangi hove!!!! ;-)

Ek murgi market gayi aur boli-"Ek anda dena!"
Shopkeeper- Ande ka tum kya karogi??
Murgi- Mere pati ne kaha hai k 2 Rs k liye tum apna figure kharaab mat karo!

A couple were together..
Girl- My head is paining!
Boy kissed her head!
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Girl- My neck is paining!
Boy kissed her neck!
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An old man asked- Beta loose motions ka bhi ilaaz karte ho kya??? ;-)

RAVINDRANATH TAGORE sharmayenge to unhe kya kahenge?
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SHARMILA TAGORE!!!