Funny SMS-2

Teacher asks a marathi Boy- Give me an example of Positive, Comparative &

Superlative degree!
Boy answers- "Bhari!!.. Layi bhari!!.. Layi mhanje layich bhari!!.." ;-)

Ek ladki khadi thi..
Na sms kar rahi thi..
Na call kar rahi thi..
Fir bhi uska balance ja raha tha...
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Kaise??
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Kyuki
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Wo ek pair par khadi thi.. ;-)

Usne jis jis jagah rakhhe kadam,
Humne wo har zameen choom li..
Aur wo bewafa ghar aakar kehti hai- "Kaku! Tumcha mulga maati khato!!!"

I saw someone in coffee shop today..
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Graceful
Intelligent
Very smart
More like a celebrity!!
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I went closer!!
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Oh God!!
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Yeh "mirrors" bhi na!!! ”

Ek sardar road pe potty kar raha tha..
Police ne use pakad liya..
Jab use le jaane lage to Sardar bola, "O KAANOON K RAKHWALO!
SABOOT TO UTHALO!!" ;-) ”

Ek ship me 300 sardar jaa rahe the..
Bina ship doobe, sabhi doob gaye..
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KAISE??
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SHIP BAND HO GAYA
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AUR SABHI DHAKKA DENE K LIYE UTAR GAYE!!! ”

Chuhiya hathi se- 'I luv u!'
Hathi- 'Tujhe mujhse darr nahi lagta?'
Chuhiya ne turant bhagwan ganesh ki photo nikali aur boli- 'Tujhme rab dikhta hai.. Yaara main kya karoon???' ;-)

If Amitabh Bachhan is PAA,
Then who is MAA??
Answer- LETTER!!
HOW??
Chitthi AAI hai AAI hai
Chitthi AAI hai..

EPALI ANTHEM-
Suno gorse duniya walo,
Chahe jitne mehel banalo,
Ushke aage garden banalo,
Ushke aage Gate lagalo,
Ushke aage honge hum NEPALI.. ;-)

TYPICAL STUDENT LIKE ME tosses a coin & thinks-
HEADS- will sleep
TAILS- will watch tv
COIN STANDS- will listen to music
STAYS IN AIR- will study... ;-)

Aajkal ki ladkiyon ki dress-
Yahan se less
Wahan se less
Kabhi sleeveless
Kabhi backless..
Aur koi ladka ghoor kar dekhe to
"KUTTA KAMINA SAALA CHARACTERLESS!!!" ;-)

SANTA- Tere kitne bachhe hain?
BANTA- 18
SANTA- Itne saare?
BANTA- Sasurji se wada kiya tha k unki beti ko kabhi khaali pet nahi rakhoonga ;-)

Sardar bag lekar bus me ghusa..
Aur zor se chillaya-
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"KHABARDAR!!
KOI APNI JAGAH SE NAHI HILEGA!!
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HAPPY SINGH
KULFIWALA KHUD SABKE PAAS AAYEGA!!!!" ;-)

Wife- Maine GADHO par research ki hai..
Wo apni GADHI k siwa kisi aur GADHI ko dekhte tak nahi..
Pati- Isliye to!!
Use GADHA kehte hain!!! ;-)

Banta- Wise men r always in doubt only idiots r sure of their case!
Santa- Ru sure??
Banta- Yes! Obviously!!

New style of proposing a girl- "I've spent many sleepless nights in ur luv & I don't want my son to do d same for ur daughter.. So lets make them Brother & Sister.." ;-)

AGE OF DRINKS-
1-3 CERELAC
4-8 MILK
9-13 HORLICKS
14-25 BEER
26-40 WHISKY
41-60 TONIC
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AFTER 60- anytime GANGAJAL!!!! ”

Raat ki tanhai me jab koi aahat tumhe jagaye, Chupke se koi tumhare bed k paas aaye to
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to
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BEWAKOOF CHILLA ZOR SE
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CHOR CHOR!!!

Ravan ko court le jaya gaya.
Judge- Apna haath gita par rakho!
Ravan- Sorry boss!!
Sita par haath rakh kar itna lafda hua, ab gita par nahi rakhunga!!

Do u remember d day we travelled in a car??
I put my dog out of d window..
U put ur face out of d window..
& ppl started shouting TWINS TWINS!!! ;-)

ULTRA HEIGHT OF LAZYNESS-
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SLEEPING & DREAMING..
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In DREAMING also SLEEPING!!!

DOVE se naha dho kar kya karna hai??
21 DEC 2012 k din sabko marna hai..
3 saal khushi se jee le dost,
Kyuki agle janam me phir JOHNSON baby se shuru karna hai.. ;-) ”

JOKE OF D DAY-
Small things hurt alot..
Eg. U can sit on a mountain top but not on a pin.. ;-)

I'M LAMP
U R LIGHT..
I'M COKE
U R SPRITE..
I'M SAAWAN
U R BAADAL..
I'M NORMAL
U R
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ALSO NORMAL!!
KYA YAAR!!
KHUD PE HI SHAQ KARTE HO?? ;-)

3 IDIOTS REMIX-
Student- GIVE ME SOME EXTRA TIME,
GIVE ME SOME BRAIN,
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE,
TO WRITE MY PAPER ONCE AGAIN...
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Examiner- NANANANA.. NA NA NA NA NA.. NANANA NANA...

REMIX OF UNCHHA LAMBA KAD-
Ik unchha lamba kutta,
Saadi gali wich sutta,
Raati thandi wich baaun baaun karda ni...
Oh Gwandia di kutti utte marda ni...
Baoon Baoon Baoon..

If a baby is born in AFRICA,
Wat will b d color of d baby's teeth??
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U FOOL!!
A new born baby doesn't have teeth!!
I KNOW UR ANSWER WAS "WHITE"!! ;-)

said I'm d sweetest in d world..
God laughed & said- Wait u haven't met d person reading this..
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MORAL- God also jokes!! ;-)

Jawani ko zindagi ki nikhaar kehte hain
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain
Ajeeb chalan hai duniya ka yaaro
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab "PYAAR" kehte hain

Aasman me tum, Paani me tum,
Zamee pe tum, Hawa pe tum..
Jahan jao wahan tum hi tum..
Dettol wali aunty theek hi kehti hain..
KITANU har jagah hote hain.. :-P

Reporter ne ek zakhmi se poochha- "Jab bomb gira kya wo phat gaya tha??"
Zakhmi (gusse se)- "Nahi! Wo reng kar mere paas aaya aur pyaar se bola "THAAA" B-)

BEFORE MARRIAGE-
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BOY- YES at last! It was so hard to wait!
GIRL- Do u want me to leave?
BOY- No! Dont ever think abt it!
GIRL- Do u love me?
BOY- Of course! Over & over!
GIRL- Have u ever cheated on me?
BOY- No! Y ru even asking?
GIRL- Will u kiss me?
BOY- Every chance I get!
GIRL- Will u hit me?
BOY- R u crazy? I'm not that kind of a person!
GIRL- Can I trust u?
BOY- Yes!!
GIRL- My darling!
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AFTER MARRIAGE??
Simply read from bottom towards up!!

Making a million friends is not an achievement..
The achievement is to make "A" friend who will stand by u wen a million r against u..

Our life begins with a CRY!
Our life ends with OTHERS' CRY!
Try to utilize this gap & laugh as much as possible between these cries!!

A BAMS student had finished his course & was performing his 1st operation soon after finishing..
He prayed to God- "Lord! Accept my 1st gift 4u.."

Ek baar exam me question aaya- HIPS PE ESSAY LIKHO!
Santa apni pant kholkar hips dekh raha tha tabhi Banta bola- MAM! USNE KUNJI KHOL RAKHI HAI!!

DIFFERENT STYLES OF SAYING GOOD NIGHT-
DAD- GUDNITE SON!
FRND- GUDNITE DUDE!
GF- GUDNITE BABY!
LOVER- GUDNITE JAANU!
But MOM- SUSU KARKE SONA BETA!!!
MOMS ROCK!!!

MURDA AASHIQ KI GUZARISH-
Mat nikalo mera janaza us bewafa ki gali se..
Warna uska baap kahega kamina marte-marte bhi ek chakkar laga gaya!!!

Yamraj ne ek aadmi ko maar daya!
Chitragupt ne poochha- Maharaj aapne isse samay se pehle kyon maar diya?
Yamraj bole- Kya karoon? Closing ka time hai.. Target to poora karna hai.. ;-)

Sardar to Doctor- Wen I sleep, Monkeys plays football in my mind!
Doctor- No problem! Just take these medicines before sleeping!
Sardar- Kal se kha loonga! Aaj final hai!!