Adult SMS Messages Collection

how is sex related to math

how is sex related to math?
add two person and a bed
subtract cloths
divide the legs
multiply the strokes
and the result is satisfucktion..haha!!!

 

A good friend is like a good bra

A Good friend is like a Good bra… hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and is always close to your heart!

 

Start your day with a lot of SEX ..

Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and you’ll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.

 

Come here, take off urs pants…

Come here, take off your pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied.
loving urs…..toilet!

 

How-come ur penis so big..

Richman to poor man- “How-come ur penis so big? Poor man-replied:
“B’coz in my childhood I had no other toys to play”!!!

 

Who is senior, PENIS or VAGINA

Q:  Who is senior,
PENIS or VAGINA.
A:VAGINA
b’cos PENIS always stands up when he sees a VAGINA..So respect the seniors!

 

God bless your naughty mind

It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

 

It’s too tight…

Girl:It’s too tight
Boy: Don’t worry; I’ll do it slowly,
Gal: Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal: It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

 

what are Nitrates?

In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what are Nitrates
Gal answered shyly: night rates, they are costlier than day.

 

Food for thought

Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich
and wear expensive branded clothes, when most beautiful things in life
we do naked.

 

In order to get 100/100 in life

In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas
a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

 

A cute Nurse came…

A cute Nurse came for the interview..
Dr: What salary YOU expect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000

 

permission to get into a girls’ bathroom

Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls’ bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

 

A Guy picks up a girl…

A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around
ur knee..?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt.

 

4 road signs which stands in front of a woman’s..

4 road signs which stands in front of a woman’s vagina….
1.Caution-dark tunnel
2.Drive carefully-road wet n slippery.
3.Go slow.
4.Men at work

 

But stupid Jill forgot the pill

Jack & Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

 

What’s the definition of a ‘lesbian?

Q: What’s the definition of a “lesbian” ?
A: Just another damn Woman…..
trying to do a man’s job!!!

 

you under arrest for violating code 69

I hereby place you under arrest for violating code 69 - distracting public with your xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report to my bedroom.

 

who opens her legs, receives happiness

A girl who opens her hands receives gifts,
who opens her heart receives love,
who opens her legs receives happiness